How many years? what? really? Wow! 10 years, that's amazing!!
Those were my reaction, when my dad told me, he spend 10 years just trying to woo a lady. If it would have been someone else, I would have brushed up saying what a weirdo. Since it was my dad I was literally in awe. In the bright side, the lady whom he spend 10 years trying to woo was non other than my Mom :). My dad is proud that, when he saw my mom, he knew he met his soul-mate and he never gave up. Ultimately after 10 years of dedication, determination and unconditional love my mom said yes and started the life long loving relationship.
Recently, I've been studying the books on Tantra, on how to have a harmonious and loving relationship. The more I read and more I compare that with my parents relationship, I see the pattern on why their relationship is harmonious and loving. Once, I started telling my mom about energy, polarity and so on, then she goes "I don't understand these philosophies and you keep that with yourself, all I know is to be positive all the time and to give Love (unconditional love)." I agree those are the most important ingredients that you need as a foundation and growth of an relationship, a positive mind,dedication and power to give unconditional love.
I've literally seen them keeping the positive mind even at the most distress situations too, i.e: the death knocking at the door (my Mom was diagnosed with 3rd stage breast cancer), yet they were both extremely positive, even I didn't know what was going on for the first week when I was back home, from college. Then, I was proof reading my Mom's article, and there she writes about "....will the next woman, my husband going to marry will give him the same love that I gave." I just can't describe the reaction I felt then. This lady has completely accepted the reality, she is completely free of fear of death, and her love, she is more concerned about her husband. Later I realized, if I'm going to marry someone, I will look for that quality, unconditional love and positivity.
I'm pretty sure, like any relationship they had their ups and downs too, but the qualities that they have. From my dad's determination, dedication, perseverance and hard work coupled with Mom's extremely positive, self-content, alturism attitude; and unconditional and harmonious love from both the side made their relationship last forever. For me they are my inspiration, I don't have to go around the world to find the perfect couple whom I can get inspiration from. I was so ignorant before that I couldn't see these simple fact, I was merely running from one point to another searching for something. That something which I had with me for all the time.
In Nepali we call this term as "Mriga-Trisna" (Deer's Thirst) (male musk deer, is always looking for the fragrance that is coming from its navel, he's always on search and being blind to the fact that it's he who carries that scent).
Hence, I've decided, I'm not going to kept on running for something that I already have, and not let my desire(lust) make me run either. When I find my Soul-mate then my Heart will lead me, the dedication, perseverance and determination with positive attitude and unconditional love, I know I'll win heart of my soul-mate one day. After all I'm bi-product of my parents love, and as nature has willed, I've these qualities with me too. After all it's "I" who decides not my desires.
I'll write more about overcoming one's desires in my future posts, on how to convert the lower energy to higher energy. For an example lust and anger are lower energies to sublimate it to higher energy would be like Love engergy or Spiritual energy. (Remember, Law of Conversation of Energy: Energy is neither created nor destroyed, but can be transformed from one form to another.)